Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ah! My ‘Beauty’full India


Beauty: Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning, or satisfaction, claims one many of the definitions of beauty, out there. In other words, beauty in itself is a very broad term which entails everything that gives pleasure to any one of your senses.

In contemporary society, beauty is used to term a ravishing damsel but it sure is much more than that. Talking about what beauty means to me would end up being a fanboy rant about each and every aspect of Angelina Jolie, so we shall chuck that. And as wide is beauty a term, I shall try to keep my definition if not as, at least reasonably broad. This post will try to describe beauty for an average Indian. Again the word average here is highly debatable, so I define it as you and me and everyone else who might read this blog.

I would be betraying myself if I started defining beauty any other way. Beauty to me and I assume a 100 crore other Indians is when Sachin Tendulkar stands upright, more balanced than a gymnast on a rope, his bat ramrod straight, eyes hungrier for runs than a politician’s, when they see green paper and the precision of bisecting the field matching a ramp model’s, who knows exactly how much to bare, even during supposed mess ups.

Beauty to us is when larger than life Amitabh Bachan says “Hum Jahan pe khade hote hain Line wahi se shuru ho jati hai” or “Rishte me to hum tumhare baap lagte hain , naam hai Shahenshah”, with a voice that stamps authority even with these inane pieces of speech. It indeed is beauty which could’ve only been beaten had Poonam Pandey had stood true to her word. Eh. That blabber is for another time.

Beauty to us is when a bloodsucking Rajas or Kamikozes are shoved into jail and they complain about the mosquitoes. That is beauty unparalleled, and no amount of short skirts the Badminton World Federation (BWF) has it’s girls wearing, will beat that.

We Indians are simple beings and tend to find beauty in our day to day lives too.

Beauty to us is a day when the roads are empty and we can actually drive our car. You know driving, when you press the accelerator and have the luxury of doing it for five straight seconds. You heard me right. It happens. Well, that beauty is one which is on the verge of extinction, at least where I stay. In Mumbai, I hear it’s already resting in peace.

Beauty to us is when a train which is supposed to turn up at 10 a.m turns up within an error zone of +- 10%(excuse me for using this, I am an engineer). Expecting anything more is blasphemy. Just like expecting Shahrukh Khan and Karan Johar to make a movie that doesn’t have gay undertones is.

Well, talking about Karan Johar, isn’t he a “beauty”.

Our eyes also well up when we see any Indian getting “international” recognition. Even if it be an honorary non sense degree to a film star, a degree which all of us know is as flimsy as Veena Malik’s morals.

We also find beauty in petty things, such are we. If the tap from which the water runs, keeps on for a couple of more minutes than it’s supposed to, the beauty of the tap keeps our gaze fixed, as if hypnotized.

Similarly if the bill of the food we’ve just eaten, has missed a tandoori roti, saving no less than Rs. 10/-, makes the bill special to us. So special that we just might get it laminated and hang it right up there with our scholarship certificates.

P.S: I do not laminate and hang my scholarship certificates on the wall. I have none.

We Indians like a good drink. Good and strong. Hence the sight of a chilled beer or a neat crystal glass kept at the side of a whiskey bottle, beckoning a ‘small’ drink is enchantment. We just don’t have it in us to refuse the poor glass, so beautiful does it appear at the end of a long day. So, due to our ‘large’ heartedness, we pour just a little, and then just a little more until we end up calling everyone around and telling them “ tu to mera bhai hai”.

Someone rightly said, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Ok this is copied.

We are easy people to please. And cheap. Hence the sight of a discount, even if the item originally is priced ten times, is beauty to us. We tend to like the “SALE 50%” Bill boards so much that if given a choice, we’ll make love to that beauty.

We are proud parents. And the pride is maximum when our offspring’s produce academic results which are unheard of in the immediate family. The report card in this case is the object of beauty; it satiates our ego. After all, why was all that bournvita, chavanprash, almonds and the most expensive ghee fed to Bittu. Precisely for this. Oh yes, and did I say beauty was relative. In this case, if the neighbour’s child fails, Bittu’s report card is now as beautiful as daddy’s wildest dreams. Ok, that might still not be true, given daddy’s recent consumption of Re-vital, but you get the drift.

All in all, beauty can be found anywhere. Even in your underwear, when you decide it’s just about clean enough to be worn again. So where did you find your “beauty” today?
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This post has been written for the Yahoo Dove Real Beauty Contest on Indiblogger. It is a salute to the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman by Dove. To know more about Real Beauty you can visit the wonderful page hosted by Yahoo http://realbeauty.yahoo.com/ .
Vote for it :)





















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